Month in Review: February

This month (or more specifically, this week), has by far been the hardest of my life. I will get into it during the Life Stuff portion, but just know that there will be a lot of discussion about anxiety and depression.

What I Read: 

Sinner by: Maggie Stiefvater: 4/5 stars
The Keeper of the Isis Light by: Monica Hughes: 1/5 stars
China Rich Girlfriend by: Kevin Kwan: 4/5 stars
The Turkish Embassy Letters by: Mary Wortley Montagu: 1/5 stars
King of Scars by: Leigh Bardugo: 3/5 stars

Favourite Book: I loved China Rich Girlfriend. Not as much as I did Crazy Rich Asians, but all of Kwan's novels are so funny and easy to get through.

What I Blogged: 

I was consistent in blogging this month, despite everything that was going on, which I am happy about. I got around to reviewing Shadow and Bone, which was great because I always enjoy sharing my thoughts on such a hyped book.

Favourite Blog Posts: 

Sabrina shares The Lies She has Heard about Reading

Erin Reviews Ninth House 

Cee asks for Love and Hope 

Life Stuff: 

Now comes the sad stuff. But I promise, I'm doing better now. The month started off with my mother moving in with me to take care of me amidst my anxiety and OCD. Her presence was a great distraction, and I found myself getting better throughout reading week. However, just this past week, I was prescribed anti-depressants to deal with my OCD and anxiety, and I was super excited to get some extra help. I had high hopes, but boy was I not expecting the side effects.

I took the medicine for four days, each time expecting to get a little more used to the medication like everyone told me I would. For those four days, I laid trembling in bed, constantly nauseous, constantly paranoid, at the darkest moment in my entire life. My mom would hold me as I shook uncontrollably. I couldn't keep any food down, and I had no motivation to do anything. I was depressed.

So, needless to say, I am off of the anti-depressants. Lots of people have told me that it just takes time to get used to them, but my brain has never been more fucked up in my life. I didn't feel like myself, and I thought that I was doing better before medication than afterwards. It was a hard decision, but I felt so much better once I was off of them.

I am still not 100%, and this is mostly because I am experiencing some stress towards what was a very traumatic experience. I keep thinking that I will get sick again. But, I am more of my old self today than I was for the past four days. I went to school, and it felt so good getting out of the house. I don't know where I stand with other forms of medication, but I am hopeful that I will be better with time. I'm not writing this as a sad story, because I am honestly much happier now. I just wish I hadn't experienced all that, as it something that I would rather forget.

So, I am going into March with a clearer head, and hopefully a healthier future. I am happy to get some of my mojo back, and I know this month looks a lot brighter than my last one.

Emily @ Paperback Princess

The Secret of the Old Clock (Nancy Drew #1) by: Carolyn Keene

Genre: Children's Fiction, Mystery
Published: September 1, 1991 by: Applewood Books
Pages: 210
Rating: 4/5 stars

Nancy is the daughter of Carson Drew, a famed lawyer in town. When Nancy learns that the old Josiah Crowley has died, and left his fortune to the greedy Topham family, Nancy is compelled to help the number of people who really needed the money, and who were promised the money from Crowley. Nancy discovers that Josiah's true will was left hidden in an old clock, and she uses her sleuthing skills to try and uncover the clock, and help those who are in need of her help.

I had to read this book for my children's literature class, and I thought that I wouldn't find it to be anything special. However, I was pleasantly surprised! This book was quick, easy to get through, and reminded me of the detective books I used to read when I was younger. I can definitely see myself reading more from this series.

I really enjoy the tone of old-timey books like these. They're just so wholesome and cute. They remind me of classic movies by the way these people talk. There's something that is kind of endearing about it all. I can't say you would go for this book if you're looking for some diversity, as Nancy is the epitome of white privilege, but I guess she really did help those who are less fortunate.

These old detective children's books can often be the cure for my anxiety. I used to be a huge fan of the Famous Five series, and this book took me way back to the nostalgia I felt through that series. These books are just easy reads, not heavy in subject matter at all, and always end happily. If you really need to be exposed to some light-hearted entertainment, what's not to love?

Have you read Nancy Drew? What did you think?

Emily @ Paperback Princess

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by: Taylor Jenkins Reid

Genre: Historical Fiction
Published: June 13, 2017 by: Atria Books
Pages: 391
Rating: 2/5 stars

*highlight white text to reveal spoiler

When Monique Grant, a struggling journalist, lands a coveted interview with famed old Hollywood star Evelyn Hugo, she is curious. This is because Evelyn specifically requested Monique. Soon Monique is swept inside Evelyn's world, as Evelyn tells Monique her life story with the idea that Monique will publish Evelyn's official biography after her death. Monique soon learns that Evelyn's life went far deeper than what the gossip blogs knew, and through her interview, Monique not only learns things about Evelyn's life, but also about her own.

I wanted to love this book. I wanted to gush over it like 99% of the book community does. I tried very hard. However, this book was a complete and utter bust for me. Here's why:

First off, I barely liked the character of Evelyn. I found her selfish and pretentious, and I didn't think that the book gave her a good voice at all. I understand that everything she did in her life, she did for a reason. Her life was hard, and she had to take risks. I admired her confidence as a woman. But, I thought that she was very unlikable, and a lot of the stuff she did in her past hurt a lot of people. I just couldn't champion her.

I also didn't love Monique either. I think she was a very bland character, who I didn't receive enough information about to like her. She completely fell flat.

Now to the plot. And to be honest, the only reason this book received two stars from me is because I enjoyed diving into the world of Old Hollywood. I find that era fascinating, so I will say that I found those aspects of the book most interesting.

I though that the "big twist" at the end of the novel was such a far stretch. You mean to tell me that Evelyn's best friend killed Monique's father years ago? Absolutely not. I thought that the twist was random, not to mention something that I thought was very unrealistic. There are billions of people in this world, and yet somehow Monique and Evelyn have this connection? Give me a break.

So, yeah, I didn't love this book. I found it pretentious and with some very unlikable characters. I didn't buy it at all. In fact, it just left me angry. Oh well.

Emily @ Paperback Princess

Shadow and Bone (Shadow and Bone Trilogy #1) by: Leigh Bardugo

Genre: Young Adult Fiction, Fantasy
Published: June 5, 2012 by: Henry Holt and Company
Pages: 358
Rating: 4/5 stars

*review contains spoilers

The nation of Ravka is divided by the Fold, a mysterious layer of darkness ridden with monsters. Alina works and fights along it, but when her best friend is brutally injured, she uncovers a power she didn't even know she had. Soon Alina is whisked off to be trained as a Grisha, a group of magical elite people who learn under the Darkling, the most powerful being in Ravka. As the Darkling takes an interest in Alina, she must uncover his true secrets, and decide who she is able to trust in her war-torn country.

I finally did it, I read the book that book twitter can't keep quiet about! Honestly, I expected to hate this book. Fantasies are not my cup of tea, and I think that Leigh Bardugo's writing is something that I normally struggle to get into. However, I thought this book was fabulous. Full of action and intrigue, and captured me right in.

Basically, I was looking for a new series to obsess over, and this could very much be a contender! I loved all of the characters, and the mystery that they hold. Alina was resilient and strong, Mal was loyal (and in my opinion, way better than the Darkling), but the Darkling was also a really well-written villain. I enjoyed learning about him and I find his backstory to be fascinating.

I was concerned that the plot would be boring and pretentious, but I didn't find that at all! I thought there was consistent action from start to finish, and by the end of the book, I completely flew through the novel. In fact, I think I finished this book all in two days, which is a big win for fantasies in my opinion.

*Spoiler section:

The only thing that prevented this book from being a total win, was the romance aspect. I really don't get how Alina and the Darkling are a thing. He was incredibly abusive and manipulative, and I really don't understand the hype surrounding them? In my opinion, Mal is so much better for her, but in reality I would like to see Alina stand on her own. I don't think this series needs romance to be successful, but that's more of a personal opinion. We shall see once I continue with the series.

Anyways, I really did enjoy this book. I found it to be intriguing and unique. I really would love to read more.

Have you read Shadow and Bone? What did you think?

Emily @ Paperback Princess

Month in Review: January

The first month of 2020 is done and it was... difficult. Full of anxiety attacks, OCD triggers, and the fear of impending apocalypse. Here's hoping February will be better?

What I Read: 

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by: Taylor Jenkins Reid: 2/5 stars
When You Reach Me by: Rebecca Stead: 2/5 stars
The Scarlet Letter by: Nathaniel Hawthorne: 3/5 stars
The History of Pompey the Little by: Francis Coventry: 1/5 stars
A Coyote Columbus Story by: Thomas King: 4/5 stars
Gulliver's Travels by: Johnathan Swift: 1/5 stars
The Paper Bag Princess by: Robert Munsch (hello blog name sake!) 4/5 stars
The Secret of the Old Clock by: Carolyn Keene: 4/5 stars
Winnie-the-Pooh by: A.A. Milne: 4/5 stars

Favourite book: Miraculously, I read a lot this month, and all of these books except for Evelyn Hugo were read for school. (As you can probably tell from the random picture books thrown in there, hello children's literature course). My favourite book was actually The Secret of the Old Clock, which is the first in the Nancy Drew series. I really like easy to get through mysteries, and this book was like the American answer to the Famous Five series, which I absolutely loved as a kid. I can see myself getting into more of these books.

What I Blogged: 

I stayed fairly consistent in blogging, and my favourite post was On Whether or Not to Speak Your Mind on the Internet. It was a cool discussion!

Favourite Blog Posts: 

Veronika shares her re-reads of her Favourite Books of the Decade 
Shayna shares some insight into Library Life 

Life Stuff: 

Like I alluded to before, this month has been tough. School started up again, and my courses this term are ten times harder than my ones last term. One course is basically all group work and... I just can't deal with that. My OCD has been driving me nuts, with intrusive thoughts and just overall me over- thinking everything. My anxiety has also not been good. I have extreme health anxiety (also lines up with OCD), so all of this talk about an epidemic has made me even more compulsive. Overall, just a very triggering month. I hope this virus is better contained this month, and I hope that everyone who has it will get better. I don't do well with virus outbreaks, and constantly seeing it on my Twitter timeline and the media's fear mongering does not help.

Anyways, February will bring my reading week, Valentine's Day (which I actually very much enjoy despite not having a boyfriend), and the premiere of P.S. I Still Love You! John-Ambrose will rise, folks. The Peter stans are not ready.

So that was my month. How was yours?

Paperback's Pondering's: On Whether or Not to Speak Your Mind on the Internet

Storytime!

About a month ago, my mom told my sister and I about a person she followed on Instagram who was being rather shitty. She was a health food blogger who was complaining about someone giving her brownies as a gift for Christmas, saying that this person was trying to sabotage her health, and that she would be throwing the brownies out. Upon further scrolling through this woman's feed, she posts stuff saying that obesity is a "disease," and various other fat-shaming stuff. My mom was appalled, but she didn't know how to comment something while still being civil, so my sister and I typed out a comment for her.

I can't show you the direct comment because the blogger promptly blocked my mom, but we were very respectful, just saying how it is not right to publicly shame someone for giving them a nice gift, and that throwing the brownies out promotes wastefulness when there are people starving in this world. Well, this woman and her followers completely attacked us, and then blocked us. So, brings us to here.

When the first few negative comments on our post came in, my sister and I wanted to retaliate, guns blazing. But my mom told us to just let it go. She said that we shared our piece, they weren't going to listen, and we should just move on. But, my sister and I had a very hard time with that. We wanted to call these people out, we wanted to tell them just how wrong they were. We tried the nice thing, it didn't work. We couldn't let them have the last word.

This incident sparked a conversation about whether or not to feed the trolls. Cee @ Dora Reads actually did a discussion post on this too, you can read it here. I think when I was younger, I did not speak my mind for anything. I just let people say offensive stuff, and I was too chicken to say anything back. But, now my opinions have changed. I feel like I don't take shit from anyone, and if you wanna argue, I will argue back.

This idea of just letting things go, is something that I struggle with. The way I look at it is, if someone is saying stupid stuff, then they need to know just how stupid they are being. Now, I'm all for having healthy debates, and I'm not saying that anyone who ever disagrees with me is stupid. But, if someone is saying something blatantly wrong, I feel as if I just have to get involved.

I guess another way to look at it is: if these people are so quick to fire back, then my opinion most likely won't change theirs. However, I get a lot of satisfaction from calling someone out, and now I'm wondering: is that good or bad?

I think as long as you're not being offensive back, there is nothing wrong with engaging in an argument on social media. Speak up about what you're passionate about! However, I do feel like sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me, and suddenly I feel as if I am now targeting the person, as opposed to the person's shitty opinion. I can be very judgemental, it's something that I really need to work on. I think I immediately assume that when a person says something wrong, they are pure and utter evil, when in reality, they could be going through something behind that screen. It is hard to just judge the opinion, and not judge the person as well.

I think for me personally, I don't want to stop speaking up if I see something wrong on online. However, I think I need to be more cautious about how I speak towards the person, and I think I need to engage in more healthy debates. Nothing gets resulted just by two people screaming at each other.

What do you think? Do you think it is worthwhile to feed the trolls? Or do you think we shouldn't waste our breath?

Emily @ Paperback Princess

Sissy: A Coming of Gender Story by: Jacob Tobia

Genre: Memoir
Published: March 5, 2019 by: G.P. Putnam's Sons
Pages: 319
Rating: 5/5 stars

Jacob Tobia was assigned male at birth, though they never thought of themselves that way. As a child, Jacob was obsessed with glitter, fashion, and trying on their grandmother's chunky costume jewellery. This labelled them as a "sissy," as people in Raleigh, North Carolina were not the most welcoming of gender fluidity. Over the years, Jacob took the label sissy as a label of pride, and eventually, they worked their story all the way up to the White House. Sissy is a hilarious, heart-warming, though sometimes sad memoir about accepting yourself, and crushing gender roles.

I absolutely LOVED this memoir. I find often with non-fiction books, it is hard for me to get fully engrossed in them. Sometimes I get bored of them. I did not have that issue at all with "Sissy." Jacob has such a hilarious tone throughout the entire book, which is hard to get bored of. Their footnotes add cheeky little quips of information, and their constant referral of God as a "she," was so badass, I loved it. Overall, I was nothing but entertained.

Jacob's story is sadly quite similar to many stories of non-binary people growing up in conservative/religious communities. But they take these serious issues, and explain them in a way that is so unique, and so hilarious. I totally understand how some people use humour to cope, and Jacob used it in a way that is defiant of homophobia and transphobia, and utterly powerful.

This memoir taught me something. I have learnt a lot in university sociology classes that gender is a social construct, but they never really go that deep into it. Jacob made me want to stand up against harmful gender roles, and made me all the more passionate about the subject. Wear whatever the fuck you want to wear, love whoever the fuck you want to love, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Have you read "Sissy?" What did you think?

Emily @ Paperback Princess