Black Friend by: Ziwe

Genre: Non-fiction, essays 

Published: October 17, 2023 by: Henry N. Abrams 

Pages: 192 

Rating: 4/5 stars 

CW: anti-Black racism, discussions of police brutality 

In this collection of essays from comedian and host Ziwe, the writer reflects on her years of being a Black woman in the comedy world, as well as looking back on the numerous popular interviews she has conducted on some controversial guests. Ziwe considers how her childhood impacted her career, though this text cannot be categorized as wholly a memoir. Instead, it is a culmination of various essays that ponder the state of the United States and the world, and how comedy attempts to address various issues. 

I wasn't totally familiar with Ziwe's comedy before starting this book. I knew she had conducted a viral interview with disgraced politician and fraud George Santos, but that was pretty much all I knew about her. I figured that this book might give me greater insight into her personal comedic modes and how she goes about choosing interview subjects and questions. This book definitely answered some of the questions I had on Ziwe, while also teaching me a bit more about the comedy world and how comedians deal with current affairs in their writing. 

Ziwe's humour is quite unapologetic, satirical, with tinges of sarcasm throughout. Her book has a lot of footnotes that add greater comedic context to her writing, which I definitely appreciated. I love when authors add comedic footnotes to books, to me I find them so entertaining. That was definitely a huge reason why I stayed engaged throughout all of the essays. I also did really love how most chapters began with a snippet of an interview that Ziwe has given. Most of these interviews are with controversial figures, some of which have been "cancelled" in mainstream media. Ziwe's interviews are always laced with sarcasm, but I find it fascinating how she is able to both learn more about the interview subject and make room for jokes, but not with the intention of simply tearing the subject down. While she may not agree personally with the politics of the subject, the whole interview doesn't seem like just one big roast. Instead, she can put subtle jokes in between questions to allow the subject to reflect on their own behaviour. 

I wasn't so much interested in Ziwe's childhood or personal life, moreso about her career as a comedian. This was mainly just a personal preference; I am not too familiar with her so instead of knowing more about her personally I just wanted to get a sense of her as a comedian. I think this book had a good balance of the personal with the professional, with some inevitable overlap. For example, the title of the book, Black Friend, is both a nod to a popular question Ziwe asks to her subjects: "how many Black friends do you have?, while also being pointed to how Ziwe in her personal life has been tokenized as the "Black friend." She weaves throughout the text anecdotes of being confused with other Black comedians and celebrities simply because ignorant people would group all of the Black women together. Her commentary on American politics and current affairs I thought was sound and appropriate to the time. I do find it interesting to see what comedians think of the state of the world, and if in real life they tend to have more cynical views compared to just wanting to make people laugh all the time. I would say Ziwe thrives off of her comedy, but at the same time, she is not naive to real issues. 

Overall, this was a solid read. I didn't think it really blew me away, but it had a good balance of interview snippets, commentary, and funny footnotes to keep me engaged. I think anyone curious about Ziwe's interviews might like this behind the scenes look at some of her more viral moments. 

Have you read Black Friend? What did you think? 

Emily @ Paperback Princess

Educated by: Tara Westover

Genre: Memoir 

Published: February 20, 2018 by Random House 

Pages: 352 

Rating: 5/5 stars 

CW: graphic depictions of physical and emotional abuse

Educated is a memoir depicting Westover's childhood growing up in an ultra-religious Mormon family. Due to her parents' conservative beliefs, Tara and her siblings grew up sheltered from contemporary society. They were forbidden to listen to secular music, watch tv, and were heavily surveilled by their parents. But most importantly, they were forbidden from attending school. As such, Tara grew up with curiosity for what existed beyond her upbringing, and this curiosity eventually led to her taking an interest in getting an education. Educated follows the emotional and physical difficulties that Tara endured in trying to pursue her education while the people around her who were supposed to protect her failed her the most. 

I read this book fairly recently, just towards the end of 2023. Normally it takes me months to review books, but given that I don't know how regular my blog schedule will be, I just needed to get this review out into the word. This book is not an easy read. It is emotionally gripping, at times frustrating, and incredibly heartbreaking. There are also some graphic images in this text, so people should approach it carefully. But it is also so moving. As a student myself, who has had the privilege to learn so many things into my 20's, I admired Tara's drive to keep learning even when the odds were stacked against her. Educated therefore contextualizes years of yearning for an education that eventually accumulates into success despite many tragic difficulties. 

This book does a great job at contending with the many different facets of trauma. Since Tara endured so many layers of abuse throughout her childhood and young adulthood, she takes great care in explaining how these traumas affected her memory. There are many points throughout the book in which she admits that the memory she has around certain events are fuzzy. Sometimes she will recount her memory of an event, and then go on to recount a completely different version of that event based on how one of her siblings remembered it. I thought this was a very considerate way of writing because she takes into consideration how at times, she is not *really* a reliable narrator because of her memory loss. But being an unreliable narrator is not a bad thing, it just shows that she is careful not to accept one universal truth. She takes care to accept multiple truths based on how her trauma has contextualized those truths. If anything, Tara's willingness to accept memory loss as a part of her narrative made me more trusting of her as a storyteller. 

Since Tara's book deals with multiple people, some who had positive and some who had very negative impacts on her life, she also does a good job at protecting the confidentiality of her subjects and of herself. Tara is not the only victim of abuse in the text, as her siblings also encountered various levels of manipulation and trauma. As such, Tara makes it clear at the beginning of the text that some names are pseudonyms. I thought this detail made for a very ethical piece of non-fiction writing. Sometimes in memoirs you get writers who like to air out other people's trauma despite those people not consenting for them to do so. This detail showed me that Tara is conscious about how some people may receive her story and she protects herself from blame in how she portrays certain events. 

I thought the text was very well organized in its portrayal of how Tara achieved her education. We follow her from a young girl, and then into her teens, and then young adult years. Sometimes she does go back in time to connect something happening in the future to something that happened in the past. But she does so in a way that is easy to follow. I really was impacted by the natural gift that Tara had for learning, that was just not put to use as a child. I couldn't imagine the childhood she could have had if she had been given the resources to thrive. She is definitely one of those naturally intelligent people, and it was wonderful to watch her come into her own as the story transpired. 

Overall, I was touched by the ways that Tara was able to thrive in the educational system once she unlearned her parents' abusive ways. This book does well at unpacking how trauma can affect the mind and body to not perform at its fullest potential, and I am so happy that Tara was able to get the education she truly deserved. This book did make me sad at times thinking about the fact that there are children in similar situations, and I think this text drives a great sentiment that education is not a weapon, it is a tool for change. If you like memoirs, please read this! 

Have you read Educated? What did you think? 

Emily @ Paperback Princess

Dancing with the Octopus by: Debora Harding

Genre: memoir

Published: August 27, 2020 by: Bloomsbury 

Pages: 384 

Rating: 5/5 stars 

CW: kidnapping, sexual assault, PTSD, familial abuse 

Debora Harding grew up in Omaha Nebraska, with a temperamental mother and an absent-minded father. In the winter of 1978, she is abducted a knifepoint and held for ransom by a man who will show no remorse for his crimes as Debora's life continues. While Debora is rescued and her captor is persecuted, her young adult life is forever changed not only because of her assault, but because of her parents' lack of concern for the PTSD she may be suffering. As Debora moves into her adult life, she begins to undertake a project to meet with her kidnapper in order to attempt to bring herself some closure from a life not only corrupted by a terrifying assault, but also significantly impacted by her absent and abusive parents. 

I picked up this book on a whim from the library in the "true crime" section. I am incredibly weary of true crime texts because I think the general public's obsession with reading about other people's trauma should be looked at critically. But something about the title of this book, and the cover, intrigued me. I am always willing to read a memoir, so I figured I'd give it a shot. I was amazed at Debora's intelligent prose, her willingness to integrate dark humour into an incredibly traumatic story, and most importantly, her ability to highlight that her assault and kidnapping were not the only abusive events she encountered in her childhood. I think Harding is an incredible writer, and I would encourage all those who enjoy memoirs to give this one a read. 

I am pretty receptive to dark humour within texts. But, a book that manages to integrate dark humour into a crime involving kidnapping and assault seems daunting. Harding's humour may be tough for some to digest. But, I could really see how humour was used by her as a coping mechanism as she tried to deal with her trauma without any help from her family. When her family wasn't there, humour allowed for her to escape from all of the harsh realities of her current situation. I admired Harding's willingness to be open about such a difficult time in her life in the events after her kidnapping, and her humour I think helped for me to see just how seriously she was neglected by her family after her assault. 

Harding characterizes her kidnapper, and her parents, with honest portrayals that is needed in order for the reader to see how serious her situation was. She absolutely does not sugar-coat anything, and she often refers to her kidnapper as a "fucking asshole," and recounts in visceral detail the insensitive and victim-blaming statements her mother said to her after her assault. These statements are difficult to get through, and I would encourage everyone to go through the content warnings and approach this book with caution. It is tough. However, I can see that through writing this book, Harding was able to hold nothing back because she was told to hold everything back within her childhood. This book gives her the ability to unload her trauma when her parents would rather have had her forget about it. If you can get through these harsh portrayals, then you can really see why using visceral details is therapeutic for Harding. 

A key moment in the text that I found was handled with sensitivity and incredible intelligence is when Harding talks about the race of her kidnapper. Harding was kidnapped by a Black man, and as a white woman, she is very much aware of the conversations that arise when considering racial stereotypes and crime. Harding's explanation is thoughtful and very informative. She acknowledges the stereotypes that Black men face when it comes to crime, and she also explains how Black people are disproportionally incarcerated in US prisons. She also recognizes that this man happened to be Black, but cautions readers against making her crime an example that these stereotypes are true. I don't think Harding had to discuss race at all in her book, but the fact that she took the time to explain racial stereotypes and how her kidnapper's crime does not invite readers to perpetuate harmful stereotypes was incredibly thoughtful. 

Overall, this book was a shocking, deeply personal account of what happens in the aftermath of a crime to victims who do not have familial support. I think Harding's story is one that everyone who is interested in true crime should read, as this book shows that behind the glamourization of criminals within popular culture, there are real victims whose lives are anything but entertainment. 

Have you read Dancing with the Octopus? What did you think? 

Emily @ Paperback Princess

Laughing All the Way to the Mosque by: Zarqa Nawaz

 Genre: memoir 

Published: June 24, 2014 by: Collins 

Pages: 256

Reviews: 5/5 stars 

CW: islamophobia, sexual harassment  

Zarqa Nawaz is the creator of the hit Canadian tv series "Little Mosque on the Prairie," which follows a tight-knit Muslim community in rural Saskatchewan. Such experiences are not far from Zarqa's own life, as she too experienced what it's like to be Muslim in Canada's west. This memoir follows Zarqa's life from being born in England to Pakistani-Muslim parents, and moving to Canada, where she grows up and eventually moves to Regina, Saskatchewan with her family. Along the way, Zarqa deals with islamophobia brought on by 9/11, having differing viewpoints compared to other people in her religion, and using the best tool she has to cope with it all: humour. 

From what I've learned about Zarqa Nawaz, I've concluded that her content can be very polarizing for both Muslim and non-Muslim individuals. She tends to use a lot of satire in her works which can be jarring for people, and sometimes Muslim reviewers point out how she tends to prioritize more liberal viewpoints of Islam as opposed to conservative viewpoints. There are a bunch of own voices reviews of this book on Goodreads which I really enjoyed reading, and I would encourage folks looking to read this book to do the same. It was beneficial for me to get a wide range of opinions on this book just to see what Muslim readers thought of it. I ultimately really enjoyed the book and its use of humour, but it's important to note that my opinion is that of a non-Muslim person, and reading own voices reviews can be a very important task. With all this being said, here is my review of the book: 

I was intrigued to read Nawaz's memoir because of her new fiction book that just came out: Jameela Green Ruins Everything. I wanted to learn more about Nawaz before picking up her book, as she seemed like such a cool, funny person and is a really important figure in the Canadian media scene. I much prefer funny memoirs to serious memoirs as they are easier for me to read, and Nawaz did a great job at talking about serious topics while integrating her signature wit, sarcasm, and a little bit of satire. I can see that Nawaz very much uses humour to cope with the things around her, and such humour really stood out in the memoir. 

Nawaz does a great job at educating the non-Muslim reader about Muslim traditions and religious observances, especially in relation to the Hajj. Her methods of explanation may be untraditional, as of course, almost every line is laced with humour, but I think I left the book with the overall feeling that I had learned more about Islam that I had known going in, which is a good thing. The book is well-organized and well-paced so that I was kept interested throughout. I really found myself turning each page wanting to know what happened next in Nawaz's life. I think she does a great job at turning herself and the people in her life into full-fledged characters, so it feels like I'm reading a well-developed story from beginning to end. 

Nawaz is very talented in her storytelling abilities. I can see why she had much success in her career, and I would even love to begin watching Little Mosque because if it's anything like the entertainment that she incorporates in her own writings, then I think I would really enjoy it. With the successes of Canadian tv shows as of late like Schitt's Creek, it's about time that more Canadian shows get the recognition they deserve. I think Nawaz brings something special to the Canadian writing scene because of her ability to not hold back when it comes to humour while still staying true to who she is as a Muslim woman. 

Overall, I loved this memoir! I thought it was a captivating story full of triumphs for a talented Canadian woman writer. Even though Nawaz's type of humour can be sometimes hard to get into, I think she ultimately teaches her audience about the Muslim faith while also showing them that life doesn't always have to be taken so seriously. It was a very entertaining read. 

Have you read Laughing All the Way to the Mosque? What did you think? 

Emily @ Paperback Princess

In The Dream House by: Carmen Maria Machado

 Genre: Memoir 

Published: November 5, 2019 by: Graywolf Press 

Pages: 251 

Rating: 5/5 stars 

CW: graphic depictions of domestic abuse (physical and emotional/verbal) 

In this harrowing and poignant memoir, Carmen Maria Machado articulates her experiences in an abusive same-sex relationship. To do so, Machado uses chapters that mirror specific writing tropes and techniques, as well as the overall symbol of "the dream house." Overall, this memoir will resonate with victims of abuse, or anyone who wants to know more about the history of same-sex abuse and the lengths that some have went to in order to cover it up. 

I loved this memoir. Recently I have gotten really into non-fiction and memoir, and it is through books like these that make me appreciate this genre all the more. In The Dream House is a disturbing read for sure, as Machado does not hold anything back in terms of detailing the abuse that she has endured. I would caution all victims to take care of themselves when reading this book. Something that Machado did in her storytelling that really resonated with me is how she used writing tropes to tell her story. Machado created a world that both critiques the handling of same-sex abuse in society, as well as the handling of abuse in writing practices. 

The main symbol that Machado carries throughout her book is the idea of "the dream house." That is, the house that she shared with her abusive partner and the false reality of "a dream house" that many abuse survivors can create in their minds. The dream house functions through a chapter by chapter summary of Machado's life through her relationship with her abuser and with the dream house itself. But, Machado writes each chapter through the lense of a different writing trope. For example, one chapter is "The Dream House as a Gothic," or "The Dream House as a Femme Fatale." Therefore, Machado is able to comment on her abuse by using typical writing tropes to do so. These writing tropes are destabilized and somewhat exposed for their treatment of abuse and abused queer people. So, there is interesting commentary on how the tradition of writing has impacted marginalized individuals. 

I loved this book so much that I actually wrote on it for an assignment for a Queer Theory course. We were tasked with finding something that could function as a queer archive. I was struck by how Machado commented on the history of same-sex domestic abuse and how homophobia has covered it up. Through an examination of each writing technique or trope, Machado brings in a discussion of how history has done queer people wrong. Same-sex domestic abuse is not widely talked about in mainstream activism, and Machado forces people to pay attention to it and make it a crucial part of the discussion of queer history and of queer rights. 

I should also mention that Machado is a queer Latina woman, and so this novel also brings in a discussion of race and how race and sexuality are interconnected. Overall, this novel really resonated with me both in its ability to tell an emotional story with sensitivity and power, but also in the way it comments on queer history and the practice of writing. If you are a writer, a survivor, an ally, or really any person, you must give this a read. 

Have you read In The Dream House? What did you think? 

Emily @ Paperback Princes

How We Fight For Our Lives by: Saeed Jones

Genre: Memoir
Published: October 8, 2019 by: Simon and Schuster
Pages: 192
Rating: 5/5 stars
CW: racism, homophobia, predatory behaviour onto minors, grief

Saeed Jones is an esteemed poet who blends poetry and prose into a powerful memoir. Jones tells the story of his life as a boy in the deep South, dealing with a tumultuous but strong relationship with his family members, and his own identity as a queer Black man. How We Fight For Our Lives is a story of coming into ones identity, of losing people close to you, and of navigating a world that privileges some, and marginalizes others.

I love a good memoir. I especially love a memoir that intertwines different genres to get its message across. Saeed Jones is known by most to be a poet. In his memoir, he uses his gifts as a poet and a writer to craft a memoir that makes an impact. Not only does it make an impact, it makes a statement. Even though this book is chilling and at times very graphic, I still think if you can handle the subject matter, it is worth the read.

This memoir doesn't read like non-fiction. By this I mean that Jones doesn't simply regurgitate moments from his childhood without any substance. He is able to tap deep into his thoughts and feelings within each moment in his past that he talks about. The ways in which he writes is lyrical and enthralling. The book takes you on a stream of consciousness journey. I could not put it down once I started.

I read this book shortly after the murder of George Floyd. People were emphasizing the need to read more books by Black authors, and specifically Black queer authors. I saw someone recommend this book and decided to go into it without knowing much of who Jones was. But I emerged knowing so much about Jones and wanting to know even more. I am inspired by the way he writes. I love how he is able to incorporate intersections of race and queerness in his works. He shows how these two concepts are highly connected. I can see this book being studied in queer theory courses, because not only was it educational, but it is a critical look at race and queer relations in the United States.

*Side note, after I finished this memoir I wanted to research Jones' other works, and I came across this article he wrote for GQ regarding the Black Lives Matter protests. It was so incredible, I would encourage you all to read it:

Whose Grief? Our Grief

This book deals with some tough subject matter, so I would suggest going into it after knowing of the content warnings. However, if you are looking for a memoir to take your breath away, look no further. I think this is a memoir that everyone should read.

Have you read How We Fight For Our Lives? What did you think?

Emily @ Paperback Princess

Sissy: A Coming of Gender Story by: Jacob Tobia

Genre: Memoir
Published: March 5, 2019 by: G.P. Putnam's Sons
Pages: 319
Rating: 5/5 stars

Jacob Tobia was assigned male at birth, though they never thought of themselves that way. As a child, Jacob was obsessed with glitter, fashion, and trying on their grandmother's chunky costume jewellery. This labelled them as a "sissy," as people in Raleigh, North Carolina were not the most welcoming of gender fluidity. Over the years, Jacob took the label sissy as a label of pride, and eventually, they worked their story all the way up to the White House. Sissy is a hilarious, heart-warming, though sometimes sad memoir about accepting yourself, and crushing gender roles.

I absolutely LOVED this memoir. I find often with non-fiction books, it is hard for me to get fully engrossed in them. Sometimes I get bored of them. I did not have that issue at all with "Sissy." Jacob has such a hilarious tone throughout the entire book, which is hard to get bored of. Their footnotes add cheeky little quips of information, and their constant referral of God as a "she," was so badass, I loved it. Overall, I was nothing but entertained.

Jacob's story is sadly quite similar to many stories of non-binary people growing up in conservative/religious communities. But they take these serious issues, and explain them in a way that is so unique, and so hilarious. I totally understand how some people use humour to cope, and Jacob used it in a way that is defiant of homophobia and transphobia, and utterly powerful.

This memoir taught me something. I have learnt a lot in university sociology classes that gender is a social construct, but they never really go that deep into it. Jacob made me want to stand up against harmful gender roles, and made me all the more passionate about the subject. Wear whatever the fuck you want to wear, love whoever the fuck you want to love, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Have you read "Sissy?" What did you think?

Emily @ Paperback Princess

When Breath Becomes Air by: Paul Kalanithi

Genre: Non-fiction, Memoir
Published: January 19, 2016 by: Random House
Pages: 208
Rating: 4/5 stars

At the age of 36, Paul Kalanithi is at the top of his game. He has just completed decades worth of training and is now an accomplished neurosurgeon. That is, until he's not. Paul is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, and now, with perhaps just a year to live, he and his wife's lives are turned upside down. In this moving memoir, Paul reflects on what it's like to carry on with such a devastating diagnosis, and, while he died before the memoir was finished, his wife finishes the story and tells of her husband's triumphs in the face of death.

This memoir was sad. It kinda reminded me of Tuesday's With Morrie in the sense the we hear a dying man's perspective of life and loss, and this was a refreshing take on it. It was really interesting to hear the perspective of a neurosurgeon, of someone whose life depended on science, and now he is faced with philosophical questions that rattle his mind. It was a very moving memoir.

This memoir was short and very captivating in just 200 pages. It was easy to follow and didn't rattle my brain with hard-hitting stuff. It was sad, but it didn't leave me feeling just completely down on myself.

That being said, I'm not the biggest non-fiction reader, so I don't think I enjoyed this book quite as much as I would a fiction novel. Still, it was really good if you're looking for a short, heartfelt read.

Have you read When Breath Becomes Air? What did you think?

Emily @ Paperback Princess

The Glass Castle by: Jeannette Walls

Genre: Non-fiction, Memoir
Published: January 26, 2006 by: Scribner
Pages: 288
Rating: 5/5 stars

Jeannette Walls tells the both tender and heartbreaking story of her life. Of living in a family of nomads, travelling along the Southwest desert and scrounging up whatever they could find. Her father was a drunk, but when sober, he captivated Jeannette and her three siblings with imagination and teachings that you could not replicate in a classroom. But when the money ran out, the family had to settle, and with it, Jeannette's father started drinking and became abusive. Their mother was absent and uncaring, and the Walls children began to fend for themselves. When they finally found the courage to leave home, Jeannette knew that this story had to be told.

Wow. Just wow. This book was unreal, unexplainable, probably the most captivating non-fiction I have ever read. What's incredible about this story is that it reads like a fiction, it's almost like the characters are made up and the author is simply telling just a heartbreaking tale. But it's all real. Jeannette used such vivid descriptions of her childhood that drew me in and made me not want to put it down.

Jeannette obviously had a hard life. Her and her siblings grew up very fast, and they could have ended up anywhere, but they decided to turn their lives around. But amazingly, Jeannette speaks of her parents with such fondness and affection. She doesn't look at them as horrid people who she is estranged from, instead, she looks upon them with generosity for their sacrifices and an appreciation for the fond memories. This is one strong woman.

I would recommend this book to anyone. Even if you don't like non-fiction, this book is not boring in the slightest and has such a beautifully painted picture of a not so beautiful life.

Have you read The Glass Castle? What did you think?

Emily @ Paperback Princess

Talking as Fast as I Can by: Lauren Graham

Genre: Non-fiction, Memoir
Published: November 29, 2016 by: Ballantine Books
Pages: 209
Rating: 5/5 stars

Follow Lauren Graham through her childhood, first jobs, and rise to fame in beloved shows Gilmore Girls and Parenthood in these collection of personal essays. Lauren shares witty humour, reviews Gilmore Girls' coveted seven seasons, and shares thoughts on the revival everyone was talking about. In this memoir, Lorelai Gilmore is back to reflect on just how much the show has meant to her.

This memoir was like the warm hug I needed after watching the Gilmore Girls revival! I can't say you'll love this book if you're unfamiliar with Lauren Graham or Gilmore Girls, but for me I was completely fangirling and laughing over Lauren's heartwarming stories and reflections on the show. It gave me (some) of the closure I needed after that dreadful Fall episode.

I loved how it literally felt like Lorelai Gilmore was talking to me throughout this book. Her fast-paced sentences, witty humour and heartwarming stories were so adorable and made me fangirling hard! She had such nice things to say about Gilmore Girls and all the cast and I love her little anecdotes.

I loved how this book was very Gilmore-girl oriented. I thought it would be a mix of a number of things. but the fact that it was gilmore-centric was awesome! There were stories from filming, funny banter, and she even reviewed each season of the show! I felt like I was being let in on behind the scenes secrets never before shared!

Overall, if you're a Gilmore Girls fan, you will love this book. It's hilarious and adorable, and written by our favourite female tv star. Lauren Graham will always be Lorelai Gilmore.

Have you read Talking as Fast as I Can? What did you think?

Emily @ Paperback Princess