If my mom comes across this post she will probably let out a gasp. But seriously, everyone in my personal life has just assumed that since I am pursuing creative writing in school, I want to be a writer as a career. For the purpose of this post, I am talking about being a full-time writer of fiction, because I know there are a ton of jobs that fall under the category of writing. We will get to that later. For a long time, I thought that my lifelong dream was to be published. I knew that you could not exit university and immediately become a bestseller, however I expected to do other things on the side, with the ultimate goal being writing full-time. However, I am now here to exclaim that I do not want to write as a career. Quite frankly, I'm not even sure if I want to get published.
Here's the thing, I have never had the time to finish a work. I pretty much only write fiction when I am doing exercises during my class, however on my spare time, you will never see me just pick up my laptop and start writing. I like to think I have a WIP, but the truth is, I haven't touched it in about a year and the only use it has been to me is using it for university assignments.
I'm beginning to find that I force myself to write. I pick up my laptop expecting to find enjoyment from entering a world of fiction, however I am more focused on checking the time to decide when I can be done. I often feel like I am on some sort of clock, that I need to start forming this WIP because if I want to get published in 5-10 years, the process needs to start now.
The others in my program often talk about their extensive plans to immediately start editing after uni, start sending out query letters, and even self-publishing. However, those goals never excite me. I already get so unbelievably anxious when people in my class edit my work, that the thought of some successful executive at a publishing company reading it makes my heart pound. The truth is, I don't think I will ever be at the point where I want to share my writing with the world.
I understand getting published is a dream that everyone in my program, and pretty much every writer shares, but it's not mine. I am perfectly fine with not worrying about a deadline, with not worrying about my writing being perfect, original, flowing nicely with no plot holes. Instead, I would like to just ramble, to write something that makes no sense and sharing it with myself and myself only. I want to do it for fun, but I don't want to do it for my job.
So recently, a girl in one of my classes who I had helped edit an essay before, asked me to edit something else for her. She said that she loves the feedback I give her and that I would be a great editor. That's when I got thinking, maybe I don't want to write the work, maybe I want to edit it? Now forgive my ignorance, I honestly have no idea if you can even edit professionally without having published anything yourself, but I really want to expand my editing skills and maybe see if I can reach out to others and lend my expertise. I understand that editing does fall under the category of a writing job, but I quite like the idea of keeping my personal writing to myself, and helping others who have a dream that I just cannot share.
So I've finally said it: I don't think getting published is for me. The process, quite frankly, stresses me out, and I don't think I will ever even finish something that is worth being put out there. This is not me just being cynical, or "giving up," this is just me being a realist. And this is certainly NOT me telling anyone else that there's no point in them trying to get published either. I have just found that with my habits, my anxieties, and my future, publishing just doesn't line up with it. Who knows, maybe one day I will change my mind, but for now, I'm just living my life without that goal in mind.
What are some of your writing goals?
Emily @ Paperback Princess
There's a lot that goes into writing and revising a novel, and then marketing and publishing it is a whole other thing- I definitely see what you mean! Not to mention that once you have one book published, you have to immediately jump into the next one while marketing the one you just finished at the same time.
ReplyDeleteIt’s definitely overwhelming! I just don’t want to be apart of it.
DeleteGosh I relate so so much to this post. I love writing fiction, but sometimes I wonder if I'll ever actually survive the whole editing process that gets a finished book. My mental health is always working against me - I don't know if it'll ever happen.
ReplyDeleteBut I agree about editing! I've actually been considering a job as a proofreader. I love grammar and I adore editing, so I think it'd be a good fit for me. Or at least, content creation or articles or something else writing-related that doesn't involve a book.
Exactly!! When you have anxiety, I feel like you just have to take things a lot slower than publishing a book can kinda provide.
DeleteA significant part of my job involves editing the publicity our organization puts out, and I really love doing it. Am I also tearing out chunks of hair when I do it? Oh yes. But I think it's great.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have always loved writing, and I do want to be published...but I can't make myself write a novel. Perhaps I could do a short story at some point, or have some of my poetry published, but I most definitely understand why it is something you wouldn't want to make a career out of. And there is nothing that says you can't publish a work one day even if it isn't what you build your career out of!
I’m glad you enjoy editing at your job! I don’t think I realized for a very long time just how difficult publishing a book would be! I hope you’re successful in getting your work out there :)
DeleteThere are tonnes of editors who've not got published themselves, so don't worry about that!
ReplyDeleteDo what you want, Em, and what's right for you!
And if, one day, you turn around and say, 'this short story would be great to submit to this anthology,' or, 'y'know what, this novel is worth querying!' then that's fine! It's also 100% fine if you never feel that way! It's not meant to be a chore, and people who treat it as something they're forced to do without passion really aren't the people who'll do well with writing.
Do what's right for you, and know that nothing is set in stone! :)
Thanks Cee! You’re absolutely right :)
DeleteUgh, this was such a relatable post! I feel like everyone around me has assumed I'm the writer, because back in high school, I won writing prizes and stuff like that. And I do like writing, but I'd never pursue that as a career. Everyone else around me was surprised when they found out I was not choosing writing programs for university, and I felt like their pressure was what kept me from writing to begin with! I didn't want to only be known as the "writer", and that's probably why I decided not to write anything for a long time.
ReplyDeleteI do have a WIP now, but I don't see myself ever trying to publish it. It's something I want to write for myself, based off of my own experiences. I know a lot of people who dream of being published and having their book out there, and though I encourage it, I wish more people would understand that it's not for everyone. Not every writer wants to be an author!
I highly encourage you to do more research on the editing realm, because I think you'd be brilliant at it, Em! Sending you a lot of positive vibes as you figure out the next step in your life! 😊
Thanks Lais! It does get really annoying when people assume you have to pursue publishing just because you’re into writing. I wish you the best of luck with your WIP too!
DeleteI relate to this literally so much. While I love the idea of being published and holding my own baby book in my hands, I'm finding that I'm much more into writing poetry and honestly, there isn't a super big market for poetry. So much so that most of my time would be promoting, etc, which I am really not into (anything that involved talking with people all day every day is not for me). And on top of that, I also do what you do: I sit down to write something and I only really get sucked in like 0.1% of the time. Most of the time I'm glancing at the clock or at my word count which is not healthy. I'm like you though, where people say I give them great advice on their prose pieces so I also have been considering going into editing!
ReplyDeleteLaura @BlueEyeBooks
It is very hard to stay focused on a WIP isn’t it? Glad to hear that poetry is working out for you!
DeleteAHHHH, I feel you! It's honestly beyond ridiculous but people always, people IRL anyway, always assume that I should be a writer because I love READING. Make that make sense. I always brush it off saying no, but it's come to the point where I just say, yeah maybe, because it's that annoying at this point, lol. I do love working with all things book-related though, and I've often felt I'd love to be an editor but I guess that dream is nothing but just that, lol. I admire you for taking a stand on this, though! You can always get back to writing should you ever feel you want to, but it should never be the cost at your own inner peace! <3
ReplyDeleteIt always seems as if people make reading synonymous with writing. If you love to read books then you MUST want to write one, right??? Definitely not the case lol. I will leave the hard work to someone else and just enjoy their finished product!
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