Back in November, I wrote a book. It was for NaNoWriMo, and I completed the challenge. I expected that I would spend time editing it, and then work to get it published. I even bought a bound copy of it using one of the NaNoWriMo coupon codes. However, as I spent time editing it, I realized that this book just wasn't going anywhere. I was actually embarassed by it.
Let me get one thing straight, and that is writing a 50 000 word book in a month will not create the best novel. But that's what editing is for, right? I thought so, but as I began I started to feel less and less confident in the book, and not for anything that was fixable, I basically hated everything.
I went into NaNoWriMo with no prior writing experience. I had no plan, no character outlines. I just went with it. I literally made stuff up as I was going on. Now this technique may work for some, but it did not help me at all. There were major plot holes in my story, forgotten characters and quick fixes to big problems. It just sounded so stupid.
The point is, I thought I could fix it, I thought I could make it work, but the truth is, this story just doesn't work for me anymore. It seems cliche and boring, and nothing that I am proud to put my name on. And I'm not being hard on myself, I know that this is not the book I wanted to write.
So basically, what I'm saying is, I'm basically scrapping a years worth of editing and starting fresh with a new story. I am now more educated on writing through the course I'm taking at school, and I know that my teacher can help me through the process. I'm doing a lot more planning this time, as I think this will keep me a lot more organized. I want to take my time this time around.
Sometimes a book just doesn't work out. This is one of those times. I at first felt like I was just quitting, but this is more than that. I know I can write better than how I did, and I'm willing to try. I'll keep my book saved on my computer for the memory, but I just know that I will never do anything with it. It's over.
Have you ever scrapped an entire book? Please give me your wisdom!
Emily @ Paperback Princess
I completely understand. I was in the same situation last year with my NaNoWrimo novel.
ReplyDeleteBut this year I'm working hard. I've spent months reading all I can about how to write character, plot, outline, etc, etc, and I'm planning hardcore with the novel I'm doing for November. I feel a lot more prepared this time round!
That's great! I'm not doing NaNoWriMo this year because I'm crazy busy but it was a good experience last year. I wish you luck in your writing!
DeleteHey, practice makes perfect. I wrote a 50 000 word book which I even sent to an agent before deciding I wasn't happy with it. I then cut out a good 90% of it, and have currently put it in the corner (literally, it's under a stack of my crap.) Will I go back to it? Maybe. Maybe not. Either way is fine, because these decisions are *my* decisions, and nothing is set in stone. I've finely realised that I don't write to get published, I write because I write. One of these days, some of the random scraps of writing may combine to form something publishable - 'til then, the enjoyment is what matters. Because if you don't like it, if you're not enjoying it, then it isn't worth it.
ReplyDeleteYou're gonna be great Em - but you're still so young (and I don't mean that condescendingly, honest!) you've got plenty of time to take things slow and get things right :) (this is coming from someone with zero patience, lol.) ;)
that should be 'finally realised' - oops! ;)
DeleteThanks for your words of wisdom Cee! I definitely like it when nothing it set in stone and I can still make my own decisions but I feel like when I send it to a publisher it'll feel like I can't change it now and that will worry me. And I totally get it, I still have a lot of time to get things sorted, I think for me it's just that I'm always trying to rush things. That's definitely something I need to work on.
DeleteI have done this more times than I can count. I think sometimes I just realize within the time I came up with the idea and wrote the book, I've changed as a person, and so have my tastes. I'm not the same person who came up with the idea or wrote the book, and that's ok. It just means moving on to another idea.
ReplyDeleteI definitely find that my ideas and interests change as well! Even if it may seem like a short time frame of writing the book.
DeleteI can absolutely understand where you're coming from. I began writing something a few weeks ago and I have a very vague idea of where it's going but my plan for right now is just write and I can go back later and change where necessary. I still absolutely do not think this will be my big break but it's more practise than anything. I'm trying to overcome my biggest writing issue of planning out one thing and completely changing it about half way through. Still, I've years and years ahead of me to learn the ins and outs of trying to write a good novel.
ReplyDeleteYeah I can definitely relate! We've both got our whole lives ahead to write, so I'm definitely not expecting my first book to be a New York Times bestseller or anything. It takes time.
DeleteI'm so sorry you've lost touch with your book! :( I think I'm the same - though I haven't had to scrap an entire book before. I get writing, and after a month or so of solid writing, I feel disillusioned with everything, I see everything I write as bad (even though I absolutely loved it a week before).
ReplyDeleteBut it's really good you're moving on, you're still writing. Hopefully, with your new experience at school, you can write more, write better, and write something you'll always be proud of! :)
Yeah hopefully! My feelings definitely do change with my writing, it's like one week I'm thinking this is genius and the next I'm like, did I actually write that? Lol, writing problems!
DeleteI honestly think it is very brave of you to say that, Emily! Not a lot of people would admit that their work isn't that good, but I'm glad you feel like you could do better!
ReplyDeleteI hope you actually do better this time around! Plotting is my favorite part of the process and I'm sure you can make it enjoyable as well. I think having an outline will definitely help you.
I think it will! I'm actually sharing my work in class tomorrow which is kind of scary because of this post, but I think it'll be a good learning experience!
DeleteI'm no writer so I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling about having to give up on something you worked on for so long, but as they say, practice does make perfect...so perhaps it's all for the best? And now that you're armed with even better skills that you've gained through your writing classes, I'm sure you'd have a much easier time writing something that YOU deem satisfactory! Good luck, Em! I know you can, can, can write beautifully. This blog is testimony to that! <3
ReplyDeleteAwww thank you Ruzaika! Practice does make perfect and i only hope that I can get better from here.
DeleteThe same thing sort of happened to me, except I wasn't liking what I was writing as I was writing it, but I felt like I needed to finish for NaNo. This year I'm going in more prepared with an outline, and character descriptions. The first time I'm doing it like this. I thought I was going to revise, but the more I thought about it, themore I disliked the story. This year I'm excited for the story I'm going to write. I guess I'll have to see how I feel after NaNoWriMo.
ReplyDeleteWell i wish you good luck! I think organization is the key :)
DeleteI think it's completely fine to do this! I think every author must have so many drafts and ideas that they now hate - that's how wer grow as writers. Even if you did put in all that hard work, it's not a waste, because you have obviously learnt so much from it!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think it's all part of the learning process :) I can only go up from here lol!
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