Paperback's Pondering's: Sometimes it's Good to Take a Social Media Break

 CW: discussion of morality OCD, intrusive thoughts, compulsively using social media 

Recently, I've been doing a lot of thinking about how I use social media. For example, in January, it was Bell Let's Talk Day, an annual initiative in which the Bell Media company donates 5 cents towards mental health charities whenever someone uses the hashtag #BellLetsTalk on social media. However, there have been a lot of recent controversies coming to light about Bell, mainly about how Bell exploits incarcerated Canadians. Still, millions of people shared the hashtag on social media, and I was pressured into doing the same. Even though I didn't want to, I saw the droves of people talking about how the hashtag still does good, and I just felt like I would be a terrible person if I didn't share it. And, this is a common scenario for people with OCD who use social media compulsively. 

I have a tendency to think that if I don't actively post on social media all the time about various issues, that I am a bad person. Now this is definitely my OCD at work. One of my main obsessions is being perceived as racist, homophobic, transphobic, or anything else. I am so petrified of messing up and hurting someone else. This is called morality OCD. My morality OCD has prompted me in the past to stay up much later than I should have, retweeting, sharing, and liking everything related to social justice because I think that if I don't speak out about these issues, then I am a bad person. 

Now, there is great importance in speaking up for what you believe in, and not staying silent while others suffer. However, my problem with social media activism is how often it can trigger folks like me to compulsively post and continue going down rabbit holes of every terrible thing that is happening in the world. And nobody should feel like they have to retweet and like every single thing, because it is simply not healthy to be surrounded by negativity on social media all the time. 

Now, it would be remiss not to mention that marginalized people such as BIPOC folks, LGBTQ+ folks, and disabled folks, sometimes have no choice but to take to social media to talk about harsh issues. The world has made it so these people do not always have safe spaces to gather and share their feelings, and so social media can be a great outlet for inspiring change and being with your community. However, I do think that it is important that we remember to take breaks, to take care of ourselves, and to log off once in a while. 

It is important to remember that social media activism is not the only way to get involved. We can read books, articles, listen to music, and of course volunteer in order to spread awareness. Social media is a fabulous tool, however I have a problem when people are quick to judge others for not speaking out about an issue. We simply do not know what people are going through, and maybe they just can't be on social media right now, or are not in the right headspace to be talking about harsh things. It isn't an excuse, it's just a way for people to take time to heal. 

I have had to take social media breaks in the past. These breaks are integral to my OCD, so that I ensure that I am not compulsively posting and so that I don't let my morality OCD get in the way of me enjoying life. Something that I've been trying to remember, which is also very hard, is that humans are flawed. We are bound to make mistakes. But how we respond to our mistakes, is even more important. 

So, I guess I just want to tell other folks with OCD that it's ok to put the phone down once in a while. It doesn't mean you're a bad person, and it doesn't mean you don't care. It just means you are taking time to heal yourself, so you can come back to your activism stronger than ever. 

How do you feel about social media activism? How do you balance social media? 

For additional reading: 

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/social-media-activism-drawbacks

Emily @ Paperback Princess

SLAY by: Brittney Morris

 Genre: Young Adult Fiction, Contemporary 

Published: September 24, 2019 by: Simon and Schuster 

Pages: 323 

Rating: 4/5 stars 

CW: abusive relationship, racism, off-page murder, killing within a video game 

Kiera Johnson is a teen passionate about STEM. When she's at school she's an honours student and math tutor. When she's at home, she is the anonymous developer of SLAY, an online role-playing card game that has players take on the personas of famous Black people throughout history. The game is only available to Black people, and Kiera prides herself in giving Black gamers a safe space where they can be unapologetically Black. But, when a troll infiltrates the game, claiming that SLAY "excludes white people," Kiera and the other players suddenly have their safety threatened. Then, a teen is murdered in a dispute over the game. Suddenly Kiera has to grapple with revealing herself as the creator of the game, putting her safety in jeopardy, or staying silent, while racists continue to take over the game that she loves. 

This novel was a thrilling, nail-biting, tense read! I was so impressed by how the author was able to bring in almost a science-fiction tone to a book that is very much in a real-life setting. Kiera was such a savvy, smart individual, and I loved reading about a Black girl who is in STEM. I could definitely see myself reading more of Brittney Morris' books. 

I loved how Morris was able to create tension in this novel. I wasn't expecting how shocking this book would be, and I certainly wasn't expecting the twists and turns it would take me on. I found myself almost gasping out loud at parts, because Kiera and the other gamers of SLAY go through so much, and I definitely did not see any of the big reveals coming. I thought this was such a thrilling novel but ultimately I was happy with how it ended. 

I also loved how this book uniquely explored the topic of white people taking over Black spaces. White people seem to feel so threatened by Black people having safe spaces to express themselves. White people always feel the need to insert themselves into spaces that they have no right to. This book explores this topic, but in the context of a video game, which was really well-thought out. I enjoyed how the game worked and I loved how it brought in figures from Black history. 

I will say, because I am not a gamer, I was more interested in how the game explored Black history than the game itself. I don't really know much about game theory or STEM, so I can't say that those topics really interested me. However, if you love gaming, you will find these moments even more intriguing. From what I know about gaming I know that a lot of gaming culture can be very racist, so I think gamers could benefit from diverse stories such as these. 

This book does deal with some tough topics. There is murder both in the game and in real-life, so please take care of yourself when reading this. But overall, I loved how this story ended. It was a really unique exploration of racism through the lense of a Black girl in STEM. I would say this is a must-read for gamers. 

Have you read SLAY? What did you think? 

Emily @ Paperback Princess

Month in Review: February

Thank god it's March. I am so over winter and I am so happy that we are one month closer to spring. I'm tired of being cold! Anyways, here's what happened in February, along with some very good news! 

What I Read: 

Sanctuary by: Paola Mendoza and Abby Sheer: 4/5 stars 

Concrete Rose by: Angie Thomas: 5/5 stars 

One of the Good Ones by: Maika Moulite and Maritza Moulite: 5/5 stars 

Juliet Takes a Breath by: Gabby Rivera: 4/5 stars 

Love and Olives by: Jenna Evans Welch: 3/5 stars 

He Said, She Said by: Gigi Gorgeous: 4/5 stars 

Stay Gold by: Tobly McSmith: 4/5 stars 

How it All Blew Up by: Arvin Ahmadi: 4/5 stars 

10 Things I Hate About Pinky by: Sandhya Menon: 4/5 stars 

A Tail of Camelot by: Julie Leung: 5/5 stars 

Favourite book: I have to give it to A Tail of Camelot. This book surprised me so much because it is a middle-grade novel retelling Arthurian legend but with mice instead of humans. You heard that right. I had to read it for my King Arthur in Young People's Literature course, but I LOVED it. It was adorable, such a feel-good novel. 

What I Blogged: 

My blogging life has been... meh recently. By this I mean that I am running out of ideas, people! I mostly just blogged book reviews in February, because there wasn't anything I mainly wanted to discuss. I'm in a bit of a writer's block right now. Do you have any tips? 

Favourite Blog Posts of the Month: 

Despite my February writer's block, a lot of bloggers wrote fabulous posts this month! Here are some of my favourites: 

Cee explains what Depression Is 

Roberta shares a 2021 Update (Go give her some love, she has had it rough this year so far) 

Nicole asks: Unbiased Reviews: Is There Such a Thing? 

Sabrina recommends Books Based on Aesthetics 

Life Stuff: 

Now here is that good news I mentioned at the beginning: I GOT INTO MY MASTERS PROGRAM!! I am over the moon right now. I will be doing my MA in literature, focusing specifically on YA literature written by Indigenous authors. I just knew I had to focus on YA in my degree. I am really excited for this project and I am so happy that the biggest hurdle has been jumped. 

So, I had a good February. I had a week off of school, I got some great news, and I feel like even though this pandemic has taken a lot of opportunities away from me, my future is in a good spot. This pandemic has been tough on the people of my generation, so I hope that the future looks bright for all my fellow gen z'ers. We deserve a break! 

So that was my February. How was yours? Do you have any good news to share? 

Emily @ Paperback Princess

The Black Flamingo by: Dean Atta

 Genre: Young Adult Fiction, Contemporary, Poetry 

Published: August 8, 2019 by: Hodder Children's Books

Pages: 360 

Rating: 4/5 stars 

CW: racism, homophobia 

Michael is a mixed-race teen who has always been told he is not enough. He's not Black enough. He's not Greek enough. Michael also knows that he is gay, and he is struggling with how to accept all of his unique qualities that make him special. But, soon he finds solace in The Black Flamingo. The Black Flamingo gives Michael the opportunity to be unique, to be unapologetically queer. This story is told in verse, and spans  from Michael's young childhood, to his journey into a confident drag artist. 

I am loving novels in verse. They are always so impactful, so easy to get through, and so beautifully written. "The Black Flamingo" was no exception. I have never read a YA book about drag before, so I was excited to see how this book would handle it. I just loved how Atta wrote of the deep symbolism of drag. It is about being bold and beautiful. But, it is also about forming an identity that helps the person out of drag as well. 

I loved Michael as a character. I appreciated that Atta wrote this story from Michael's childhood and then into his teen and young adult life. Through this extensive timespan, I was able to get a clear picture about Michael's identity and some of his confidence issues. I think this timespan really makes Michael's character progression all the more impactful. 

I loved the symbol of the flamingo. And more importantly, the Black Flamingo. Through this symbolism, Atta explains that Michael is a unique individual made up of a lot of moving parts. He is Black, he is Greek, he is queer. He is also bold, like a flamingo. I really loved that this was the name that Michael picked for his drag and I thought it really added to the discussion of race within the text. 

I will say, I do wish we got a bit more drag in this novel. I was expecting that this novel would go deeper into Michael's journey as a drag artist. But because the story also talks about his childhood, drag comes very late into the story. I did love hearing of Michael's childhood as well, but if anything, I think this story could have been made longer. I would have loved more detail on the drag part of Michael's life, and I would have had no problem reading more of Michael's story. I think overall, it did wrap up a little too quickly for me. 

That being said, this was a great addition to my novels in verse collection. I have yet to find a novel in verse that I didn't like, and I think the format is such a powerful way to tell stories of marginalized people. I am excited to see what Atta writes next. 

Have you read "The Black Flamingo?" What did you think? 

Emily @ Paperback Princess

Clap When You Land by: Elizabeth Acevedo

 Genre: Young Adult Fiction, Poetry, Contemporary 

Published: May 5, 2020 by: Hot Key Books 

Pages: 417 

Rating: 5/5 stars 

CW: grief, loss of a parent, predatory behaviour, emotional manipulation 

Camino lives in the Dominican Republic, and every summer, her father returns home from working in the States to stay with her. However, one summer, when he is supposed to land, Camino finds out that his plane crashed, killing everyone on board. Camino is devastated, but things get even more shocking when she discovers that her father not only had a life in the Dominican Republic, but also in the States. 

When Yahaira finds out that her father has died in a plane crash, she is struck with grief. But soon, secrets of her father come out. Now she is being sent to the Dominican Republic to meet a sister she never knew existed. Together, both girls grapple with the grief of losing their father, but also with the lies that he fed them all these years. 

This was my first of Acevedo's verse novels. I absolutely loved "With the Fire on High," and I know most people rave about Acevedo's novels in verse as well. So, I knew I had to give this book a shot. This novel was heartbreaking, though beautifully written, and so emotionally gripping. The characters were extremely well-written, and this was definitely a story to remember. 

First off, I loved that I could still connect with these characters despite the novel being in verse. I was scared that this book wouldn't have too much description in it due to the poetic structure, and I would be left guessing how to imagine the characters. But, Acevedo still does a fantastic job at developing both Camino and Yahaira. If anything, I got to know their inner thoughts better through the verse. I really think that the poetic structure allowed for me to get an in-depth look into each of these character's minds. This novel felt really personal, and I loved that. 

I also loved that this book dealt with a number of unique topics. Yes, the girls are grieving the loss of a parent. But, they are also dealing with the fact that their father was lying to them all their lives. This struggle of wanting to grieve, but also wanting to be mad at their father was handled very well. I think Acevedo portrayed the duality between grief and anger really well. It is something that makes this book about grief very unique. 

I flew through this book. The verse style gave it a stream of consciousness feeling. I couldn't put it down, in fact I read it in one sitting. I loved how we got both perspectives of the girls throughout the text, so I could learn how each girl was dealing separately. I think this novel deals with many complex topics that are handled very well. Overall, this book gave me a love for novels in verse, and now I will pretty much read any novel in verse. Acevedo writes so well. 

Have you read Clap When You Land? What did you think? 

Emily @ Paperback Princess

The Secret History by: Donna Tartt

 Genre: Mystery, Thriller, Dark Academia 

Published: April 13, 2004 by: Vintage 

Pages: 559 

Rating: 1/5 stars 

TW: Murder, Blood and Gore, Torture, Sexual Assault, Incest, Addiction, Suicide, Panic Attacks 

*As you can see, this book has its fair share of disturbing content, and for that reason, my review will contain a discussion of some of these topics that may be triggering to some readers. 

Richard Papen has made his way into the elite Hampden College in Vermont, in order to study Ancient Greek. He is soon intrigued by one of the Classics professors, Julian Marrow, who keeps his enrollment strictly to a small group of students: Twins Charles and Camilla, Francis Abernathy, Henry Winter, and Edmund "Bunny" Corcoran, who is an extremely wealthy bigot. Richard is able to make his way into this mysterious group, but soon begins to regret that decision after the group becomes entangled in a murder that they have all sworn to keep quiet about. 

*Warning: rant review ahead. If you are looking for a professionally written review that is free of hyperboles, then this review is not for you. Also, I just want to say that I know this book is super popular and a staple of the dark academia genre, and this post is not meant to hate on anyone who loved this book or who loves dark academia. We all have different book tastes, and that's ok. Everyone's opinion is valid. However, I do have issues with this genre that I have been pondering for a long time, and I want to discuss them.

It's been a long while since I've written a rant review, so *cracks knuckles,* here we go. This book incited a rage in me that I could not describe. This book began and ended my relationship with dark academia. This book ruined Greek Mythology for me. (Ok, that last part is an extreme stretch. Nothing can ruin my love for Greek Mythology. But, I'll stick to the Percy Jackson series). I did not like this book. It had no redeeming qualities. Let's talk about why. 

I do not think the dark academia genre is for me. And this is no hate towards people who like it, but I just do not think I would be able to tolerate reading another book about privileged white kids who commit heinous acts of violence without any repercussions. And I'm supposed to like these characters? Nope, no thank you. Richard was a naive idiot. Charles and Camilla were creepy. I had some sympathy for Camilla, but her actions were still unforgivable. Francis was complacent. And don't get me started on Bunny. I did not grieve once for that arrogant asshole. *spoiler hidden* This is such a character driven novel, so you'd think that to enjoy it, you'd have to enjoy reading about the characters. But these characters were the absolute worst, and I did not like them one bit. 

The plot is also a whole bunch of nothingness. This novel was so incredibly wordy, and for no reason whatsoever. Even though this book has two murders in it, it didn't feel like this novel had any concept of rising action, climax, and falling action. It was all over the place, disorganized, with most of the scenes just being comprised of a bunch of unhealthy behaviours. I couldn't see why these scenes would be appealing to read. 

This book was also way too triggering for me. It deals with some seriously dark things. But it does not deal with these subjects in a sensitive way. Characters receive no consequences for their actions, and extremely dark issues are left unresolved and brushed under the rug. Why did the author have to put in so many gruesome, disturbing moments, but not resolve them? Was this just to leave your readers disturbed? Well, it succeeded. 

I couldn't deal with how pretentious this book was. All of these characters seemed to speak down onto me. This book almost creates the idea that these elite students are better than everyone else, which is certainly not the case because they all suck. I just think if you're going to write dark academia, you have to address the ways in which the post-secondary system is inherently elitist, racist, and pretentious. You have to discuss how the post-secondary system fails marginalized students. This book did none of that, although it did certainly give us some elitist, racist and pretentious characters. 

I was excited for this book because I love Greek mythology novels. I will usually love anything that makes reference to mythology. But this book takes Greek mythology and turns it into this elite concept that is only accessible to the privileged few. And this upset me, because mythology is for everyone, and should be accessible to everyone! I just think this was not the mythology book I was looking for, and I will be sticking to what I know from now on. 

Yeah, so I hated this. It left me stressed out and angry. I totally get why it has received a lot of praise, and this is not hate towards anybody who loves dark academia and Tartt's novels. But, I hope that the few of you who don't like dark academia like me, don't feel afraid to share your unpopular opinions. Some books just aren't for everyone, and that's ok! 

Have you read The Secret History? What did you think? 

Emily @ Paperback Princess

E

Month in Review: January

The first month of 2021 is in the books! And honestly... it was ok. I am enjoying my online courses right now and it's nice that I'm being kept busy. I'm also all done with my master's applications, so now it's just a matter of waiting to see if I get in or not. It's an exciting time for sure. A lot of changes are happening. But I think change is good especially in our current time period. Here's what went down in January!

What I Read: 

The Answer Is by: Alex Trebek: 5/5 stars 

A Song Below Water by: Bethany C. Morrow: 3/5 stars 

Even if We Break by: Marieke Nijkamp: 3/5 stars 

The Mermaid, the Witch, and the Sea by: Maggie Tokuda-Hall: 4/5 stars 

Cherry Crush by: Cathy Cassidy: 5/5 stars 

One of Us is Next by: Karen M. McManus: 4/5 stars 

Hood Feminism by: Mikki Kendall: 4.5/5 stars 

The Ship of the Dead by: Rick Riordan: 5/5 stars 

These Violent Delights by: Chloe Gong: 5/5 stars 

Moonrise by: Sarah Crossan: 5/5 stars 

The Extraordinaries by: T.J. Klune: 4/5 stars 

It was a great month for reading!! My favourite book I read this month was Ship of the Dead by: Rick Riordan. It's the last book in the Magnus Chase trilogy and I am so sad to see this series go. I am slowly working through the last of Riordan's books that I have to read, and idk how I'm going to be able to handle it. But, this was a fabulous conclusion. 

What I Blogged: 

I am so behind on reviews. I read a lot more often than I review, so I tried to get out a bit more reviews this month, but I am still never going to catch up. Oh well! Anyways, my favourite blog post of the month was my discussion on What Makes A Good Non-Fiction Book. It was nice to hear everybody's thoughts on non-fiction, especially since I run a predominately fiction-based blog. 

Favourite Blog Posts: 

Cee asks What's Behind the COVID Arts and Crafts Boom? 

Veronika discusses Comfort Characters

Nyx shares why she Doesn't Do the Goodreads Challenge 

Roberta asks about what Your Dream Bookish Job Would Be 

Life Stuff: 

Like I said, January wasn't terrible! I didn't have too many panic attacks, and there are now vaccines circling around the world, woohoo! Let's hope that 2021 continues to look up. 

I am taking a bunch of courses that I am really interested in this semester. I was able to fit into my schedule two ancient history courses, one of which focuses mainly on Greek mythology, which of course I am loving so far! Even my writing courses have been really fun so far. I'm hoping that my last term of undergrad continues to look up. 

I'm also attending a virtual concert this Sunday! My favourite broadway actor, Jeremy Jordan, is hosting a virtual concert this weekend and I am super excited about it. It's definitely going to be different than being there in person, but supporting artists during this pandemic is important nonetheless. This will be my first concert of his I will be attending, and even though it'll be over a screen, I cannot wait. 

So, that was my January! How was yours? 

Emily @ Paperback Princess